Fruit Cake Recipe

You will need a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs and two cups of dried fruit a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt. a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl, check the whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink : repeat
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter into a large fluffy bowl and one spoon tea of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still OK cry another tup. turn of the mixer brak two leggs and add to the bowl, and chick in the tup of dried fruit, mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a drewscriber, sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity.
Next sift two cups of flour or something. Who cares ? check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and straing your nuts. Add one babblespoon of drown sugar, or whatever colour you can find. Mix well, grease the oven, turn the cake pan to 350 gredees Don't forget to beat of the turner, throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.
Wohonny Jalker