Headlines

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband devised a scheme to solve both problems. He decided to take out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arrange to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious darkside underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie told the husband that the going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet to display a single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound coin as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Asda store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie the entire proceeding was recorded by a hidden surveillance camera and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie finally revealed the whole sordid plan.
The hapless husband was quicklyarrested, and the most unusual financial arrangement was declared in bold headlines in the next morning's newspaper.
ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT ASDA'S