Marriage Counsellor

A husband and wife go visit a marriage counsellor. First, the wife speaks to the counsellor alone. The counsellor asks,
” You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem? "
The wife replies,” It’ s my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues! "
" How does he drive you crazy? "
" For 20 years, " she says, " he's been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing. "
The marriage counsellor is amused,” Anything else "
" He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public! "
" Hmm, anything else? "
The wife hesitates,” Whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be in control! "
" Ah, " says the counsellor, " I think I’ ll talk to your husband now. "
So the wife goes out of the room and the husband says " For years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem? "
The counsellor explains,” She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public -- looking at the floor and never going near anyone else. "
The husband looks concerned, " Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do in his deathbed and I swore I'd obey everything he said. "
" What did he say? "
" He said that I should never step on anyone's toes! "
The counsellor looks amused, " Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry. "
The husband looks sheepish, " Oh. Okay. "
The counsellor continues, " And you keep picking your nose in public. "
" Well, it’ s another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean. "
The counsellor smiled " That just means you should stay out of trouble. " then continued " And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking. "
" This, " says the husband seriously, " is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing. "
" What did he say? "
The husband replies, " In his dying breath, he said. Don't screw up. "